Expect the unexpected

I've been thinking about expectations lately because I've had many come to nought this year, in fact when I come to think of it this isn't actually a recent phenomena but has been occurring my whole life!

I realise that life is full of them and they happen every day. I expect to go to work tomorrow, I expect to eat breakfast, meet a friend – normal, every day expectations that carry on their merry dance through our lives without us even noticing. But then there are the biggies , the ones that carry weight and that we pin our hopes on. The ones where we expect life to turn out a certain way and follow the neat path that we have carefully crafted in our mind. The ones we create that keep life safe, secure and happy. For me, these 'biggies' often grow out of brokenness and are rooted in fear, a lack of trust in Papa. In the past they have led me into disappointment, pain and frustration with Jesus. I now realise that they were never His plans in the first place yet I was quick to blame Him when they weren't met!

So many times over the past 18 months I expected to sell our house, to leave the country and visit new pastures. Each time my expectations have been dashed there has been a little more transformation in my heart. Each time I have yielded a little more to His ways rather than my own. I am learning to trust that His ways are perfect and mine are not even when I don't fully understand what He's up to. I am learning to let go of expectations in the little things and the big things and simply to trust.

This place is the life I'm seeking. It isn't about “whatever will be will be”,rather a relentless refusal to do things my way. It is the ability to flow with the Holy Spirit with my hand in His. To give Him all the space He wants to do with my life what He will and lead me where He knows is best in the day to day and in the biggies. It takes time. I am so good at creating my own expectations that to dismantle what is second nature takes dedication. It comes back to letting go, it comes back to trust, it comes back to love – His passionate, perfect, always good love to me. It feels as if this is big and and that if I remain willing and yielded there is something amazing out the other side. I'm learning that there is such freedom and joy in expecting the unexpected and letting Him take control. It always turns out better than any of my best plans and has a way of working out perfectly!

Nicky

xx

Fools for God

The Bible tells me that "the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight" (1 Cor 3:19) and that "the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom" (1 Cor 1:25). I can't help but wonder if what we are doing is just our foolishness or the wisdom of God? Giving up life as it is 'normally' lived - with a job, a mortgage and two weeks of summer sun; waiting for God to intervene in our lives, to show us and tell us what He would have us do and say; choosing to follow Him whatever the cost, yet not knowing where that leads or what it looks like. Is that really wisdom or just foolishness?

In this vein, I was wondering this morning as I lay in bed what the disciples would have felt, waiting in the upper room for the promised Holy Spirit? They wouldn't have known what it was going to look like when He showed up, they wouldn't have know how long they were going to have to wait - it could have been years, after all Israel had waited over 400 years for the promised Messiah to come. Would they have been in constant prayer and worship? Would they have been telling stories about Jesus or speculating about the Holy Spirit and the difference He would make to their lives? Would they have been wondering about the power they would have after Jesus Himself told them they would do greater works than Him?

For us, this time and these circumstances we find ourselves in have felt much like our own upper room, but are Jesus' words relevant for us in today's times? Does He really want me to 'wait for the gift my Father has promised' as He instructed His disciples to do? He also tells them that with this gift they will 'receive power so that they might be witnesses...to the ends of the earth' (Acts 1). I know I'm not living in the power He promised and I can't believe that what I have experienced so far is the fullness of His promise to us - it's simply not enough when I know He is the God of 'much more'. There has to be more, much more, and as His beloved son, this fullness is promised to me, it's my inheritance.

So I will wait for Him, not knowing what it looks like or when it will come, expectantly and full of hope, for the fullness of the Holy Spirit to fill me, to change me from glory to glory, flowing from me to bring His kingdom to the ends of the earth. I must have all of Him, nothing else will satisfy, I am spoiled for anything else. Until then, we will wait, we will will pray, we will worship, we will talk about Jesus and speculate about the signs and wonders we might see, for God has made a promise and He does not disappoint. I'm a fool for God and there's nothing else I'd rather be!

Mike x