A different perspective

Our little home is on the left,in the garden of our hosts' house.

We are currently living in the smallest of worlds. Having travelled the globe over the past few years, the past few months have seen us confined to such a small place. Our day has consisted of time spent in our tiny home in our dear friends garden and often the only reason to venture beyond its four small walls has been to walk the few steps to their house to share breakfast, lunch or abendbrot with the family. Without a car too, our exploration of the region has been restricted to a ten minute drive to church with our hosts on Sunday, daily walks along the Rhine or the very occasional trip to visit friends. As I said, it’s a small world.

Papa has been speaking much to us during this time of confinement and it has clearly been with purpose that He has brought us into this small space. It’s a place of hiddenness in Jesus; it’s a precious place of simply remaining; it’s an intimate place wrapped in His presence; it’s a challenging place of yielding to transformation; it’s a quiet place where we can hear His still small voice; it’s a confined space but holds such freedom in Him.

It’s in the smallness of this place that Papa is revealing the expansive nature of His glorious kingdom. During a recent worship session Papa took me to the very edges of time and space to show me that His kingdom is still expanding, that as the Creator God He is still creating, for it’s in His very nature. In this place, amongst the clouds that are billowing outward, extending the Kingdom, I saw a picture.

From one of our few trips out, this one to Münster.

In this picture I saw a row of houses that extended into the distance, but rather than getting smaller toward the horizon, these houses got bigger. I believe He was showing me things from His perspective, one of expansion, rather than the world’s perspective, which is one of diminishment. I tried to draw what I saw but couldn’t - it’s so contrary to what we see and understand in this world that I found it impossible!

Today I awoke with such a vivid and present sense of expansion, not just for us, but for His Kingdom, for us as believers and lovers of the Lamb. I believe as we begin to see things from God’s perspective, that the Kingdom is advancing whatever our current circumstances, then we will see Heaven bursting forth. I believe this expansion is into every dimension, those which are seen and those which are unseen.

The Kingdom of Heaven is expanding

So I come back to our small world which, perceived through the world’s eyes is one of confinement and even diminishment, but from God’s perspective is one of liberty and expansion. The picture of the row of houses I believe holds another significant truth, for though the house nearest to me was small, it was a small beginning that grew to huge proportions. We can all rejoice in the smallness of our world, hidden in Christ, knowing that it’s from here that expansion happens and His Kingdom comes.

Germination

Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humour! As many of you know we are in Germany right now, staying with friends; finding ourselves, temporarily at least, part of a church; and doing life as best we can in a land where we can’t speak a word of the language! But that’s not the funny bit! Soon after we arrived here we had a clear word from God that we were undergoing a process of germination... germination in the German nation! Boom boom tish!

So what is germination and what does it mean for us? Well, here’s a literal definition:

ger·mi·nate [jur-muh-neyt] verb, -nat·ed, -nat·ing.

verb (used without object)

1. to begin to grow or develop.

Botany.

    a. to develop into a plant or individual, as a seed, spore, or bulb.

    b. to put forth shoots; sprout; pullulate.

3. to come into existence; begin.

verb (used with object)

4. to cause to develop; produce.

to cause to come into existence; create.

In the process that is germination, seeds begin to grow or develop when they are hidden away, buried in the darkness of the soil. It’s a place where the seed can’t see or be seen. If you have read our previous blogs, this confirms earlier words from God about entering the darkness, the hidden place. In our experience, it’s not an easy place to be, but we know it’s where Papa wants us and we continually have to bring ourselves back to a place of rest, and trust in the process... of germination.

We have been encouraged too, by a something Graham Cooke said in a series of talks on The Process of Maturity: “Unless you spend time in the hidden place, you are not going to see the things that are hidden.”

So germination happens in the hidden place, in the darkness, but it is only here where the right environment for growth exists - the temperature is just right, and God has certainly been turning up the heat!; moisture is required, and we continue to feed from the River of Life; finally oxygen, the breath of the Holy Spirit. These elements are what’s needed to grow and bring forth the life that is inherent in the seed.

The process of germination is also when roots are established as a seed establishes itself. For us, it’s about going deeper - deeper into Papa, as Moses says in Exodus 33, ‘To know You more’. Anna Rowntree, in her incredible book Heaven Awaits The Bride, detailing two visits to Heaven, puts it so well: “We are seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus, we can’t go any higher. But we can go deeper.”

When it’s ready, like the birth of a baby after nine months hidden in the darkness of it’s mother’s womb, the seed bursts from it’s shell into life. For us, I believe that the revelation which God gives us, of Him and of who we are in Him, bursts the shell of our current understanding and thinking, renewing our mind with the truth. The old mind can no longer contain the new understanding as new life emerges, in the same way that Jesus tells us that we can’t put new wine in old wineskins, we have to be made new, by the renewing of our minds.

Finally the plant emerges from the soil, from where it can’t be seen, into the light, to reveal the fullness of the glory for which it was created. The potential for that glory was in the seed all along, but now it’s revealed, bringing its beauty into the world and glory to its Creator. This too reminds me of the familiar words of Song of Songs 2 which resonate with us so clearly at this time:

“See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.” v.11 & 12

So as we germinate in Germany, hidden from so many of those we know and love, we are believing that God is at work in us, though much of that transformation is hidden from us too, and with creation, we wait ‘in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed’ (Romans 8:19). Roll on spring!

As a parting thought, when considering what to write in this blog, I was reminded that every word is a seed, it carries with it the promise of something (Isaiah 55) and we have a choice as to which type of seeds we plant. The power of life and death we are told is in the tongue, so let’s choose to plant seeds of hope instead of fear, seeds of faith instead of doubt, and seeds of love instead of judgement. Then we will see those seeds grow into the full potential for which they were created.

Through the small door

Hello from Duisburg, Germany! We've been here for almost a week now and already feel at home, loved and welcomed. We're staying with the Spreer family – Martin, Heike and their five children. Our abode is a little 'hut' right next to the main house, made up of living area, kitchen, bathroom and loft bedroom. It's cosy and warm and we feel very blessed. It's so good to have a mixture of family time and meals with them as well as our own space. Yet again we are overwhelmed at Papa's kindness through the love and generosity of others. We have been embraced into family and have already fallen in love with them all!

Golden Ladder in the centre of Duisburg

Martin and Heike lead a great church here that we first came to in April 2011 for a conference. It's a wild, Holy Spirit infused place where the presence of Jesus is thick and there is tangible life and love. We had an incredibly warm welcome on Sunday, we even had our own interpreter during the service, and we came away with two invitations to lunch!

April-Konferenz 2011 Christus Gemeinde Duisburg

Before we came here, someone had a picture for us in which we walked up to a large mountain and, as we did so, we could see that our way through the mountain had been blocked by a rockfall. It was only as we got right up to the mountain that we saw a tiny door to the right of the rockfall that was open. The person giving the picture said that the tiny door was actually going to be a much better way through the mountain. So we believe Germany was the tiny door, yet now that we're here it feels much bigger!

There's such a sense of expectation here, like a heavy pregnancy about to birth something amazing. It feels exciting to be making relationships in Europe and it feels as if there is a strong bridge between here and the UK.  Revival is coming and the waves are going to get bigger and stronger - it is Europe's day!

I think there's going to be a lot of change in 2012 and we're going to see the Holy Spirit move in powerful ways - the invitation already goes out to ride the waves even if it feels uncomfortable. It means letting go of the old - having both hands raised in worship and surrender to His ways, and with a willingness to abandon our own ways and thoughts. If we are willing, we can become part of a huge outpouring of glory and revival the like of which has never been seen on  earth before. We can be the conduits for bringing heaven to earth as we trust Him and flow with the Holy Spirit. The new wine is already beginning to flow!

In the darkness

Well, this journey is nothing if not exciting! As many of you will know, before Christmas we had been planning to go to Sri Lanka then on to New Zealand. You may also know that this didn’t happen! We didn’t get the provision we needed to make the trip and so we found ourselves traveling back to Devon to spend Christmas near to family and friends. It wasn’t that we ever had clear direction or a direct promise from God for this particular trip, however we do know that our travels are not over, that we have more connections to make and things to learn on our journey.

And so we stepped out, following our heart's desire to be with friends in Sri Lanka, believing that the door would open, but also totally prepared for God to direct our path and change the direction in which we were setting out. We also wanted to speak, think and act from a place of faith regarding this desire, so we traveled to London without money for flights but believing that, if Sri Lanka was where God wanted us, He would get us there even though it looked impossible. Ultimately the door remained closed, and we don’t profess to understand why, nor do we expect others to understand, but we do know He has used the journey to forge faith and trust in us yet again!

One thing this experience has taught us is that it’s easy to think that when circumstances line up and things seem to fall into place, God must be in it. Equally, it can be tempting to think that when things don’t go the way we expect or plan, when things look messy, that God is not in it. To us, and to many people looking on, these last few weeks have seemed very messy, but we believe that God has been in it and He continues to use our outward circumstances to transform us within.

 As the door closed to Sri Lanka, another door opened to Germany - so we are going to walk through it! Last April we connected with some lovely people at a great church in Duisburg, near Dusseldorf, and have kept in touch with them since. They have graciously opened their hearts and their homes to us and we know a warm welcome awaits. However we leave not knowing where this will ultimately lead, or for how long we might be there, but simply holding Papa's hand and trusting Him to make the path clear with each step.

It's been quite a journey since we arrived back in England at the beginning of November. Before we left America we had both had visions of Papa leading us deeper into the darkness, not into a place of fear or danger, but into a place that would require more trust and dependency upon Him. We had words from others too which echoed the visions we had, as Holy Spirit was gently and graciously preparing us for this tough and challenging time.

During this time not only have we continued to feel a deep sense of loss of things past and things we have given up, the cost of following Him, but we also recognise that we have given up belonging. We find ourselves without the security, comfort, acceptance, worth, fellowship and sense of belonging that emerges as lives intersect within the context of a local community. We feel a sense of 'rootlessness' and not fitting. For us right now our community is made up of people dotted all over the globe, not found in one place. It’s an odd feeling and drives us deeper into intimacy with God, to find our place of belonging, our home in Him above all else.

As we enter this new year we remain largely in the dark, sometimes to our own frustration and the perplexity of many of those looking in. We don't know why it’s like this, but we have given up any right to understanding, instead choosing to trust and believe. We abide in the ‘nowhere’ (now and here) of the moment, a place of believing without seeing, of loss without gain, of stepping out without seeing the road stretched out ahead of us. It looks to the world like foolishness, and somedays it can feel like foolishness to us too, but we cannot turn back and nor would we want to.

We trust this pilgrims way and the One we follow, the One who forges the path ahead of us. We are incredibly grateful for those we meet along the way, and to those who journey with us in friendship, support, encouragement and love. We rest in confident expectation of His kindness and goodness as we learn to embrace all things, knowing that He is working in them for good and that He carries us close to His heart. Most of all we are grateful that we are loved by Him and that all our tomorrows are written in Papa's book.

Thank you to those of you who remember us in your prayers, our desire is that you would echo Paul’s words in Colossians 1:9-12 in your own prayers for us, as this is also our prayer for you:

“For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.”

Happy New Year to you all. May you know His love and presence wherever the year takes you and may it be a wild and glorious adventure!

Mike & Nicky
xxx

Step by step

I'm not enjoying this part of the journey. With Christmas around the corner, I want to be in the home I don't have, decorating a tree with the children I don't have, listening to Christmas carols and getting excited about the season. I want to have been able to do Christmas shopping and wrap gifts for friends and family. I miss being part of a community. Instead we leave for London tomorrow, stepping out in faith believing it's what Holy Spirit is leading us to do. We hope 'against all human odds' for tickets to take us to Sri Lanka in time for Christmas, but only He knows where this step will lead us. My heart aches and I feel the cost of the narrow path again.

Yet, I always come back to love, hanging upon a tree, and to the fact that I am a new creation, that I have been given a new life and that I am loved beyond all measure. In His incredible love and divine wisdom, this is the best path for me, right now, today, and that here on this path there is treasure in the darkness. This part of the journey, even the pain, is transforming me and preparing me for what is ahead. I need to yield to this, to be on this step because this step leads to the next one and is vital. I trust my Beloved Jesus, I know Him to be wholly good and overflowing with loving kindness towards me, so I know that this momentary affliction will pass, will do it's work and the darkness will turn to light again.

“We seldom get to choose our circumstances, but we always get to choose our responses. Men and women of God understand that nothing is coincidental, they take advantage of everything in order to discover God and find themselves.”

Graham Cooke

I am also comforted in remembering that life on earth is just a whisper of time compared to an eternity of living every day in heaven, face to face with Him. I only have one opportunity here on earth to choose Him, to yield even when it hurts and to say yes. I know that all loss will be great gain whether in this world or in Heaven. I also know that I am storing up a weight of glory in these circumstances for eternity.
 

"For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison." 

2 Corinthians 4:17 NASB

If your path is dark and stormy, take heart that 'this too shall pass', that He is with you in it and using every circumstance to produce a greater weight of glory for you. He is already leading you to the next step, which will be different to this one. He already has victory in mind. He keeps you close to his heart and He knows and sees the end from the beginning. He sees the full picture and knows that it is good. Remember His kindness, be confident in His love, keep going and expect good things. 

"I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. That Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." 

Ephesians 3:17-20. NLT

Feeling the pinch

Pummelled, crushed, squeezed on this narrow narrow path. Tears, pain and discomfort. This dark unknown. Walking, stumbling, trusting, blindly moving forward holding the hand of love and breathing in the aroma of heaven. Wrecked by love  even here in this dark place. He is worth every breath, every tear, every cold, damp night, every inconvenience, every discomfort. He is worth it all, even when it hurts and the way ahead seems totally blocked. My soul feels bruised and circumstances are testing yet my Spirit yields in the knowledge that His ways are wise and good and He is holding a banner of love above my head.

You are worth it Jesus. My devotion is on you. All that I am is turned towards you. In this place where I feel naked and exposed and there is nothing to hide behind, no other comfort. I remember that you really are enough. That i am clothed in you, hidden in the Father, safe.

You really are all I want. You are enough Jesus, you ARE enough. I trust you. I know that you love me and I am convinced of your goodness even in the storm. There is no other my heart desires, there is no other lover for me besides you. I don't know how long this battering storm will go on but I shout to the skies, I shout as loudly as I can that you are worth it and my heart belongs to no other. I run this race and I cannot turn around for this path is too narrow for turning.

Heaven is my home, heaven is where I dwell. Earth is a fleeting moment where pain and suffering is real but even now with my feet in the natural, I abide in the heavenly realms, pulled in by their wild gravity. This is the place where I find rest and sink into Shalom. I know I am found by you. I know your thoughts reach me, I know you are with me here in this dark place. I sing for joy for this is the path you have chosen for me and I walk it gladly trusting in your wisdom and your kindness. You will not fail me. You will not let me down. I surrender. I am yours. I praise, worship and adore you. Abba, Papa, friend, IN you.

Nicky xxx 

Beyond the shadow of doubt

 We landed in the UK as October gave way to November, and the warm weather of North America gave way to the cold and damp of England. Our trip had been rich with treasure. Not of the monetary kind, though we found generosity and love as we followed our favour across the continent and back, but in the form of precious friendships and a bounty of prophetic words and promises from Papa. Before we left back in April, God had made it clear that a significant part of our trip was to be about the connections we made, His purpose was reticulation, connecting us in to the body of Christ, and this was most definitely our experience. The rich promises He spoke into our lives, through many prophets and prophetic words, were also clearly part of His divine purpose.

As we travelled, we continued to seek God each day, as has been our practice for the last three years or more, enjoying His presence in the moment, as well as seeking wisdom and revelation about His destiny and purpose for our lives. We may not have changed outwardly, apart from a few extra pounds (Mike) and longer hair (Nic), but we are acutely aware that we have been, and continue to be, transformed by the renewing of our minds. Papa has been so gentle and kind as He has led us on the path of preparation for what is to come.

And so we find ourselves back in our home country, but without a home of our own. It’s a situation that has proven challenging, but once again God has gently been encouraging us to make our home in Him wherever we find ourselves in the world. We also have a sense of not fitting in the UK, not right now anyway. It’s a strange and somewhat disconcerting feeling, when we have spent 40+ years of our lives here, but once again we can see God’s hand at work, for we believe He is calling us on and that now is not the time for us to settle back here. In fact, God had told us that we have more ‘spices’ to collect on our travels, to add to those He has already given us, before the recipe is complete. In this sense, our journey has been and continues to be, like a school, training us for the life in ministry (for want of a better word!) that He is calling us to.

We have been visiting family and friends in London and Devon since our return, and are planning to spend time in Wales and Scotland before we leave the country again. Our intention is to leave for Sri Lanka to visit friends there for a few weeks, before going on to New Zealand, again to stay with friends for up to six months, followed by South and North America. Though we will be travelling once more, this stage will look a little different as we aim for a more settled existence in each location - to enable Mike to find a daily rhythm in which he can write (something Papa has been on his case about!) and in order to experience community in a way that constant movement from one place to another doesn’t allow for.

All of which brings us pretty much up to date. Our journey has been one of ruthless trust, of learning to depend on Papa, because He is totally dependable. We have felt an increasing call to lives lived in faith for our every need, not just because the funds from our house sale have slowly dwindled to the point now where they have been used up, but because we believe He is able to meet our every need. For us, and we recognise that such a path is not for everyone, this means not seeking paid employment, but continuing to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, trusting that all these other things will be added.

Our journey of learning to trust has not just been about trusting God, but also about learning to trust that we hear from Him, that as His beloved children in relationship with Him, He speaks to us. Not in a booming voice, not in the wind or the earthquake, but, like Elijah, in the gentle breeze. Our plans to continue our travels are not in response to a loud and clear command but a quiet invitation. We are choosing to believe that we have heard His voice and that, in spite of our circumstances and lack of finances as we write, He will meet us with the provision we need as we step out in faith.

We are excited as we anticipate with confident expectation our Papa providing for us. It’s not an easy path to tread, but a daily choice to persevere and let our beliefs determine our experience, rather than the other way around. And so we wait patiently, for the most part, and in the waiting God continues the process of transforming us, shaping us, preparing us for all that He has for us in our lives and all that He wants to do through our lives.

Mike & Nicky

xxx