Step by step

I'm not enjoying this part of the journey. With Christmas around the corner, I want to be in the home I don't have, decorating a tree with the children I don't have, listening to Christmas carols and getting excited about the season. I want to have been able to do Christmas shopping and wrap gifts for friends and family. I miss being part of a community. Instead we leave for London tomorrow, stepping out in faith believing it's what Holy Spirit is leading us to do. We hope 'against all human odds' for tickets to take us to Sri Lanka in time for Christmas, but only He knows where this step will lead us. My heart aches and I feel the cost of the narrow path again.

Yet, I always come back to love, hanging upon a tree, and to the fact that I am a new creation, that I have been given a new life and that I am loved beyond all measure. In His incredible love and divine wisdom, this is the best path for me, right now, today, and that here on this path there is treasure in the darkness. This part of the journey, even the pain, is transforming me and preparing me for what is ahead. I need to yield to this, to be on this step because this step leads to the next one and is vital. I trust my Beloved Jesus, I know Him to be wholly good and overflowing with loving kindness towards me, so I know that this momentary affliction will pass, will do it's work and the darkness will turn to light again.

“We seldom get to choose our circumstances, but we always get to choose our responses. Men and women of God understand that nothing is coincidental, they take advantage of everything in order to discover God and find themselves.”

Graham Cooke

I am also comforted in remembering that life on earth is just a whisper of time compared to an eternity of living every day in heaven, face to face with Him. I only have one opportunity here on earth to choose Him, to yield even when it hurts and to say yes. I know that all loss will be great gain whether in this world or in Heaven. I also know that I am storing up a weight of glory in these circumstances for eternity.
 

"For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison." 

2 Corinthians 4:17 NASB

If your path is dark and stormy, take heart that 'this too shall pass', that He is with you in it and using every circumstance to produce a greater weight of glory for you. He is already leading you to the next step, which will be different to this one. He already has victory in mind. He keeps you close to his heart and He knows and sees the end from the beginning. He sees the full picture and knows that it is good. Remember His kindness, be confident in His love, keep going and expect good things. 

"I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. That Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." 

Ephesians 3:17-20. NLT

And so it begins...

So, the house has sold, our possessions are scattered to the four corners of Devon, and we have finally set out on this magical mystery tour with nothing but our suitcases and a burning desire to follow Him. “Where are we going?”, “Why are we going?” and “What are we hoping to find when we 'get there'?” are all questions we have asked ourselves, almost as many times as we ourselves have been asked.

Well, there's no mystery in the first answer, at least not for now – after short trips to Scotland and Germany, we will be heading off in May to North America for six months or so. What comes after that, we're hoping will become clearer nearer the time! As to why we are going and what we're hoping to find, I could tell you we're on a pilgrimage, which we are, but perhaps it would be best to illustrate what I mean using Exodus 33 which continues to have real significance for us.

v.8 “And whenever Moses went out to the tent (of meeting with the Lord), all the people rose and stood at the entrances to their tents, watching Moses until he entered the tent.”

We have a real sense that we too are being 'watched', that this journey isn't just for us, but somehow it's also for those watching on. We really appreciate the love, support and encouragement we've received from every one of you, and believe that, although we are the ones doing the travelling, you are very much with us.

v.11 “The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend.”

John 15:15 tells us that “I no longer call you servants ... Instead I have called you friends...”. Now I cannot claim to have spoken face-to-face with God as Moses did (yet), but I am His friend – He has chosen me, and He desires my company and companionship as much as I desire His. Relationship with God is what Jesus died for, and relationship with Him is what we live for. (Romans 6:10)

v.13 “If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favour with you.”

In the intimacy of relationship with Him we want to know Him - not simply to know about Him, but to understand His nature, to discern His heart, to know His will, to experience the friendship of one who is closer than a brother, and live in the favour of His unceasing love. Teaching in this context is not about sitting in a classroom or reading books, but spending time with Him, learning by living in His Presence so that, just as Jesus did, we can do what we see Him doing. (John 6:19)

v.14 “The Lord replied, 'I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest—everything will be fine for you.'” (TLB)

God is coming with us! I believe His promise to Moses is as relevant for us today as it was for Moses then. This promise of His Presence provides such relief, such confidence, such hope in the rest that comes with trusting Him completely, absolutely, entirely. If our journey thus far has been about anything, it has been about learning to trust Him, whatever each day may bring. (Psalm 91)

v.15-16 “Then Moses said to him, 'If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?.'”

This is our prayer too. We want to remain in His Presence, to be led by the Holy Spirit each and every day. We recognise that this will not always look like we are making obvious or even sensible choices, but we want to be enslaved, willingly, to His will, and free from having to conform to the world. Our desire is that we might have ears to hear Him and the strength and courage that accrues with the knowledge of His abiding Presence. (Joshua 1:9)

v.18 “Then Moses said, 'Now show me your glory.'”

Most of us, perhaps, would be satisfied with God's promise of friendship, favour and rest - and these are indeed wonderful things. For Moses, however, that was not enough. What Moses sought, what we are seeking is an encounter with God, to see Him in all His glory. King Saul, having been anointed by Samuel, had such an encounter with God:

1 Samuel 10:6-7 “The Spirit of the Lord will come upon you … and you will be changed into a different person. Once these signs are fulfilled, do whatever your hand finds to do, for God is with you.”

It is our deepest desire to experience such an encounter ourselves – a spirit-empowering, life-changing encounter with the Living God. We are in pursuit of the promise that Jesus himself gives us in John 14:21. Following his encounter, Saul was released into his destiny, and it is our destiny, our assignment that we long to be revealed and empowered to fulfil.

v.19 “And the LORD said, 'I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence.'”

When God reveals Himself to Moses, it is in the glory of His goodness. It's our desire that His goodness is revealed in and through our own lives, to His everlasting glory. My heart has long held a passion to make a difference, a real and lasting difference in the world and in the lives of His beloved children, be they lost or found. I can't do this by my own might or power, but only by the Holy Spirit in me. (John 15:16)

After his encounter with God, Moses obeys His command to chisel out two more stone tablets to replace the ones he had broken, then to present himself before God on Mount Sinai. Here God makes a covenant with him:

Exodus 34:10 “Before all your people I will do wonders never before done in any nation in all the world. The people you live among will see how awesome is the work that I, the LORD, will do for you.”

This promise is our inheritance too, but now it's through us that he chooses to reveal signs and wonders that point to the one true and living God; miracles that make a real and lasting difference to people's lives; and awesome works that reveal His compassion, love and faithfulness in all the nations of the world. The kingdom of God is at hand - and we long for it to be revealed here on earth in our lives. (John 14:12-14)

Watch this space...

Mike

On the glory train to nowhere

Well here's our blog empty and waiting for news. I feel compelled to write this week so here goes. I'm not eloquent or gifted with words so feel free to read these ramblings or give up!

We were both hoping to pen our first blog entries from somewhere hot and beautiful but here I sit in our temporary home with Mike's mum and dad in Budleigh Salterton - blanket, hot water bottle, cold! Yet a lightness and joy of heart makes up for the coldness of body.

This particular part of our journey has been long, requiring much perseverance through trying circumstances. A house on the market for 18 months, our 4th buyer promising a quick sale that was meant to complete 2 weeks ago, but which has now been delayed by as much as 10 more weeks. We had felt it safe to investigate our 'round the world' tickets and were dreaming of Sri Lankan skies for Christmas with great friends. A bank account very much more than empty (one reason why we are now in Budleigh with parents!) and expectations dashed again.

So why a lightness and joy of heart?! I sit here so grateful for difficult circumstances that have brought us to this point. This whole process, the disappointment of failed house sales, of lost dreams and expectations have been the road that has led ever deeper into the burning heart of Jesus. With every obstacle and every tear comes a forward motion, yes may-be just a shuffle, an inch at a time, but forwards none the less. Trust, surrender, trust, surrender, trust, surrender, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. A stripping of my thoughts and ways, give way to His. It would not have looked like this had I been in control. It would have been neat and ordered with some great testimony of victory and miraculous intervention. It would have been fireworks and trumpets and if I'm honest, just a little bit of glory for me. Yet I cannot put into words how wonderfully freeing this process is. How much lighter I feel giving up my rights and my wants to yield to the One who always knows what's best for me and loves me unceasingly.

I find I don't grasp as I used to to things that don't matter. I worry less, I don't need to be in control as much. I want to live free, free to be blown by the wind of the Spirit with the ability to bend and move like clay in the potters hands. I am intoxicated with His love for me like never before and I delight in drinking heavily on the new wine that He pours out. He is transforming me into a new wine skin - it doesn't look like I thought it would. It doesn't look particularly victorious and has no neat edges. It doesn't read like a fairy tale but the happy ending is Him, purely, simply, beautifully Him. He is all I need, all I long for, all that satisfies. As I have let go of me, there has been more room for Him. I am becoming addicted to 'letting go', letting go of all that is not at His instigation, all that is not of Him. In letting go I can fly unhindered, unencumbered and feel the exilhiration of free fall - woooosh!

So we are on the train to nowhere - the 'now' and the 'here'. Living each day with a hunger for His presence and breathing in as deeply as possible all that comes our way. Only Papa knows where we are headed and when we will get there - and right now that's enough. I want to enjoy the ride, enjoy the glory of Him and simply live in the peace that comes from knowing He has it all worked out.

Nicky xxx