I walk up to where He sits, bathed in glorious light that radiates a thousand different colours which hide His frame. The nearer I get to the throne, the more my heart is consumed in love, fountains of overflowing love, a love that has been towards me for eternity's past and envelops me in completeness. He reaches arms out to me and pulls me up onto His lap. Papa. My Papa. He holds me close and I burrow my head into his neck and breathe deep long breaths aware of nothing but this moment. We stay awhile in this place, there is no other thought in me but Him, and He keeps pouring His heart into mine as if we are blending, in mystical union, I am caught up in the Trinity, three become four in this dance of love.
I then become aware of a tugging, a pull. I am being drawn in even deeper, I am being pulled into His very being. There is a tunnel of darkness and then I am released into vast galaxies. I float as if in space and yet this is different. I know I am inside the Father, I have been drawn into the depths of Him. I have no control over my body, I am carried along by his very heartbeat. Even the space is filled with love. Love is everywhere, in everything. As his heart beats, colours pulsate all around, they explode and then diminish and no sooner does one beat end than another starts. The rhythm is so constant, so reassuring and I realise that this rhythm holds every planet, every ocean, every part of humanity in its place. I know that within this vast expanse of my Papa is every kingdom and nation, every created being, everything to which he has given breath. Each one perfectly and wholly known and loved with immeasurable, wild, intoxicating love. Not one is out of His thoughts or vision.
The love within Him is too powerful to describe, too expansive to contain and yet all are contained easily within. Within these vast oceans of His being are clusters of incredible light and colour, alive with glory, all shapes and sizes and dimensions. I am pulled into brilliant white and held within this comet of love. I am shot out to be consumed by a massive sphere of brilliant orange burning with fire. Jealous fire burns around me and yet I am unharmed. Next a whole ocean of milky blue, translucent, moving like tides. I enter and know a peace I have never experienced before. I feel like I am exploring facets of my Papa's heart and personality and this process is transforming me. I know I belong here and, even better, I know I never have to leave. I know too that there are many more contained within Him. It’s here that we live and move and have our being. All things flow from this place of perfection. It’s here that we are held together. It’s here that our days are written before one of them comes into existence. There is no place for fear here, only the perfect, safe wonderful love of the Father. He is in control, He does it all, He directs the course of my life and each one of my days.
"Papa, I don't want to leave this place".
"Beloved, you don't have to".
Nicky xxx
.i am undone...
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