Expect the unexpected

I've been thinking about expectations lately because I've had many come to nought this year, in fact when I come to think of it this isn't actually a recent phenomena but has been occurring my whole life!

I realise that life is full of them and they happen every day. I expect to go to work tomorrow, I expect to eat breakfast, meet a friend – normal, every day expectations that carry on their merry dance through our lives without us even noticing. But then there are the biggies , the ones that carry weight and that we pin our hopes on. The ones where we expect life to turn out a certain way and follow the neat path that we have carefully crafted in our mind. The ones we create that keep life safe, secure and happy. For me, these 'biggies' often grow out of brokenness and are rooted in fear, a lack of trust in Papa. In the past they have led me into disappointment, pain and frustration with Jesus. I now realise that they were never His plans in the first place yet I was quick to blame Him when they weren't met!

So many times over the past 18 months I expected to sell our house, to leave the country and visit new pastures. Each time my expectations have been dashed there has been a little more transformation in my heart. Each time I have yielded a little more to His ways rather than my own. I am learning to trust that His ways are perfect and mine are not even when I don't fully understand what He's up to. I am learning to let go of expectations in the little things and the big things and simply to trust.

This place is the life I'm seeking. It isn't about “whatever will be will be”,rather a relentless refusal to do things my way. It is the ability to flow with the Holy Spirit with my hand in His. To give Him all the space He wants to do with my life what He will and lead me where He knows is best in the day to day and in the biggies. It takes time. I am so good at creating my own expectations that to dismantle what is second nature takes dedication. It comes back to letting go, it comes back to trust, it comes back to love – His passionate, perfect, always good love to me. It feels as if this is big and and that if I remain willing and yielded there is something amazing out the other side. I'm learning that there is such freedom and joy in expecting the unexpected and letting Him take control. It always turns out better than any of my best plans and has a way of working out perfectly!

Nicky

xx

Five stones

Several months ago, I was doodling in my journal as I spent the morning with Papa. I looked down at what I'd been drawing to see five smooth round pebbles. I was immediately reminded of the story of David and Goliath, though it had not been part of my studies recently.

Like me, you are probably very familiar with the story, but as I turned to to find it in the Bible this time, I was struck by the fact that David had chosen five stones from the stream with which to face the giant Goliath. Five stones. Not one stone, but five stones!

Did David think he might miss with his first, or even his second, third and fourth stones? He was so confident in his God, that he stepped forward when no one else would, to face the taunting Palestinians. And yet he picked five smooth stones from the brook.

I remember thinking that this story may hold some significance for us in our efforts to sell the house, though at that time we were only on sale number two. As our fourth stone fell short of the target this week, I couldn't help but be reminded of it again.

Will our house sell at the fifth attempt? I honestly can't say, but as I considered this, what I felt God say was that He could have slain our giant at the first attempt all those months ago, and had He done so, we could have been on our merry way to pastures new.

Though there's been pain in the process, I am so glad that He had other ideas. You see, as each and every sale has faltered, our trust in the love and goodness of Papa has grown. As we have endured the pain of plans frustrated, of hopes dashed, we have learned to dive deeper into Him.

I am so thankful for this opportunity - to know Him more intimately; to experience His unfailing love; to understand that I really am His beloved son; to learn to trust Him completely; to grasp the reality of His goodness; and to discover the freedom that comes with surrendering to His will.

We could have hit the target with our first stone, but if we had, we would have missed out on the priceless treasures God has revealed to us in the process. And so we thank you Papa, that you love us so well... and that we didn't hit with our first stone.

Mike x