Living with a heavenly perspective

As believers we can often assume that when things 'fall into place' or when our circumstances line up, God must be in it, that we are in His will at that moment. Firstly, by definition, this means that when things are difficult or don’t go the way we want them to, whether consciously or not, we are believing that God isn’t in it. Secondly, in making such an assumption we can miss the purposes of Heaven in that situation.

Consider Joshua as he was about to attack Jericho and he met the Lord: "Joshua went up to him and asked, “Are you for us or for our enemies?” “Neither,” he replied, “but as commander of the army of the Lord I have now come.” ( Joshua 5:13:14) Joshua made the assumption that the heavenly being he met was either for him or he was for the opposition. I’m sure Joshua must have been surprised when the man replied “Neither.”

Heaven has a perspective that sometimes we just don't see or even consider. Like Joshua, we can assume that God is for us and He comes to fulfill our plans, when the Lord has something else in mind - seeing Heaven come to Earth. We can become consumed with our circumstances and with seeking the results that we want, like Joshua believing that God will deliver those results for us.

Whilst is true that God is for us, He also tells us that He 'works all things together for good for those who love Him' and that 'in all these things we are more than conquerors'. The 'things' spoken about in these lines from Romans 8 can be translated as ‘absolutely everything’. In absolutely every circumstance, absolutely every situation that we find ourselves, God is working for good.

“We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their (our) labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.” Romans 8:28 AMP.

Our friend Max.

If we love God we can be assured that absolutely every circumstance is working for our good. It might not look like we had planned, it might not look like the desire in our hearts, it may even look disastrous in a natural sense, but in loving Him we can be confident that He is using those circumstances for good.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 NIV.

And so, having pursued the desires of our hearts in coming to America, desires for community, desires to share our lives with those we love and who love God, desires to make a home in this amazing nation, we find ourselves returning to the UK with none of those desires having been met. Does that mean God is not for us? By no means! Does that mean that He doesn’t want to give us the desires of our hearts? Not at all! He loves us beyond measure and His heart for us is only good, His desire that His goodness be displayed for His glory in our lives.

When David prays in Psalm 20:4 “May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.” It’s not a promise, it’s a request and David goes on in verse 7 to say “ Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” That’s the key - trusting Him when our plans don’t succeed, trusting Him when He doesn’t give us the desires of our heart, trusting Him when it hurts enough to bring us to tears. Trusting that even in the failure, the disappointment and the pain, He loves us and He is working for good.

If we can learn to embrace the pain, to trust in God’s love for us, to recognise His goodness toward us, to surrender to His will, and like James to ‘consider it pure joy’ whatever our circumstances look like, not only will we receive the ultimate reward (the crown of life!), but the journey itself becomes our reward.

Battered and bruised as we feel, physically and emotionally exhausted as we are by the journey, and though it has literally cost us everything, we can unequivocally say that we trust in Him.

The last nine months have been very painful, we have been in a fiery furnace and, even when we thought it couldn't get any hotter, the angel in charge of the furnace, turned up the heat! Papa has stripped, burnt, humbled, consumed. He has emphatically answered our prayers of 'not my will, but yours be done'. It has happened in the secret place, in the darkness, within the mundane of four walls. This hasn't been a holiday that's for sure!

We head back to the UK as weary, ragamuffin pilgrims, feeling the effects of the furnace, yet we leave feeling peace, faith and hope, for He is incredibly good and His wisdom is perfect, even when we don't understand. There is such a relief, such a peace that invades at the place of surrender, at the place of having given up our rights, of choosing 'His will' above our own. There is a sweetness in having been broken by His fiery hand that is beyond explanation. As Graham Cooke puts it, ‘We kiss the hand that hurts, because it is true and perfect in love.'

We don't know what or where is next, but we know Papa has it covered, utterly, completely, wholly covered. He has not once abandoned us, not once turned away and He never will. He always makes a way, He always comes through for us. So we return in expectant hope, knowing that He who is faithful loves us beyond comprehension and has good and perfect plans for us.

Mike & Nicky
xxx

Stormy Weather

Just before we left to return to England from North America last October, a friend gave me a word about entering a storm. She also gave me a small wooden cross as a reminder of what to cling to during the storm. I had also recently been to a production telling the story of an Irish monk named St Brendan who set out to sea in a little Coracle boat and trusted the Lord to take him through wind and wave wherever his destiny ordained. My friend was right and I had no idea how the story of St Brendan would speak to me over the next months. The storm began pretty much as we left North America and has been raging fierce and sometimes calmer ever since!

I have been pondering the storm and its effects over the past few weeks, pondering how we, as followers of Jesus, navigate the storms of life, how are we to ride the 'perfect' storm? How do we remain in victory through the storm? What does it look like to come through the storm without losing hope and remaining steadfast?

St Brendan set out in a Coracle, a tiny basin of a boat made of wood, a boat with no sails. He was entirely at the mercy of the weather, the tides and the waves. I have been told that the best thing for sailors to do during a fierce storm is take the sails down and allow the storm to navigate the course. Fighting the storm can cause more damage to the boat and sails and render it useless once the storm abates. Sailors trust the storm, they surrender to it and rely on getting through it. I keep returning to this place, to the need for surrender, to trust the One behind the storm. Although all I hear is wind, all I feel is lashing rain, the dark clouds press in all around and I have no idea when the storm will end, I need to trust the One who IS in control of it. I need to trust that He sends me along a watery path that is exactly and perfectly where I need to go.

Somedays during this lengthy storm of mine, I have been able to snuggle next to Jesus and sleep as he did during the storm on the lake. Somedays I have paced, I have shouted for Him to wake up and calm it. Somedays I have simply clung to the cross praying silently for rescue and to be saved from drowning. Somedays I have seen the sun break through the clouds and have felt its warmth on my skin, time to dry out as the sea has calmed and the noise has abated. I take deep, restorative breaths in these moments and enjoy what they bring.

I recently listened to a great podcast from Danny Silk at Bethel Church in Redding CA. in it he told a children's story that was written about one of his sons called "One of those days". His son was young at the time and still at primary school and in this day everything went wrong - he got up late, dropped his bagel on the way out the door, forgot his sports kit, had to stay in during recess. Finally his mum got called in to pick him up from school and as he got into the car with her, he braced himself for the telling off. But his mum simply said "rough day hey?" and they drove to the grocery store. Whilst there, his mum looked at him and said "I'm so proud of you", he huffed a response and they carried on. Twice more during the ride home his mum said the same thing to him until finally he began to believe it and the shame and heaviness of what he had been feeling lifted and he was able to laugh with his mum knowing how much he was loved.

Our storms often feel like 'one of those days' in which we're just getting it all wrong and bumbling our way through the wind and rain. It is so easy for shame and heaviness to set in but Papa is there, right there, closer than air, taking our head in his gentle hands and saying "I'm so proud of you". He loves us through the storm, pure, simple, powerful love that keeps no record of wrongs. Religion might measure how well we navigate the storm, keeping score of good days and bad - ticks and crosses. That is not the heart of Papa God. He knows storms are a messy business! He loves us through the raging seas and is not concerned with our response. He is concerned with loving us more fiercely than raging circumstances and telling us how well we're doing, how amazing we are! He never once abandons us.

He has a plan, a great plan that He is forging through the storm. All storms end and as we keep hope, as we cling, as we yield through them we are transformed and transported to new places in Him. I'm not sure when  my stormy weather will finally break, but I know it will. I believe that Jesus is good always, faithful always and kind always. He knows my heart, He understands me fully and loves me beyond imagining. So I can wait, I can ask for rescue and I can trust knowing that the sun will come out.

Oh, and one final thought... In the Narnia film "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader", Reepicheep sailed into Aslan's country in a Coracle. It was His means of transport into a new, perfect and glorious realm where the deepest desires and longings of his heart would be met.

Feeling the pinch

Pummelled, crushed, squeezed on this narrow narrow path. Tears, pain and discomfort. This dark unknown. Walking, stumbling, trusting, blindly moving forward holding the hand of love and breathing in the aroma of heaven. Wrecked by love  even here in this dark place. He is worth every breath, every tear, every cold, damp night, every inconvenience, every discomfort. He is worth it all, even when it hurts and the way ahead seems totally blocked. My soul feels bruised and circumstances are testing yet my Spirit yields in the knowledge that His ways are wise and good and He is holding a banner of love above my head.

You are worth it Jesus. My devotion is on you. All that I am is turned towards you. In this place where I feel naked and exposed and there is nothing to hide behind, no other comfort. I remember that you really are enough. That i am clothed in you, hidden in the Father, safe.

You really are all I want. You are enough Jesus, you ARE enough. I trust you. I know that you love me and I am convinced of your goodness even in the storm. There is no other my heart desires, there is no other lover for me besides you. I don't know how long this battering storm will go on but I shout to the skies, I shout as loudly as I can that you are worth it and my heart belongs to no other. I run this race and I cannot turn around for this path is too narrow for turning.

Heaven is my home, heaven is where I dwell. Earth is a fleeting moment where pain and suffering is real but even now with my feet in the natural, I abide in the heavenly realms, pulled in by their wild gravity. This is the place where I find rest and sink into Shalom. I know I am found by you. I know your thoughts reach me, I know you are with me here in this dark place. I sing for joy for this is the path you have chosen for me and I walk it gladly trusting in your wisdom and your kindness. You will not fail me. You will not let me down. I surrender. I am yours. I praise, worship and adore you. Abba, Papa, friend, IN you.

Nicky xxx 

True rest

 

I have suffered with insomnia for many years and come to accept tiredness as the norm. I've pretty much just got on with life, managing things around my lack of sleep. In the past few weeks however, my lack of sleep has taken on a whole new dimension - with night after night of as little as 2 hours sleep. As a result I got myself into a bit of a tiz! Another way to describe a bit of a tiz is fear, anxiety, what if? In desperation I facebooked friends to ask for prayer.

That same morning Papa de-tizzed me! A couple of friends had responded to my request with a gentle reminder of rest. Not simply the physical rest of doing little, but the wonderful, addictive, intoxicating rest that comes through the finished work of the cross. The deep rest that comes from trusting Jesus and all that He has given. Jesus has finished it, completed the work – He has given me everything in fullness.

My inheritance is wildly rich and contains way more than I could ever need or want. I can rest in in the truth that He has already given it, done it all to me and for me. What a relief, what a deep satisfying sigh this brings to my being! The fullness has been given. Even my ability to believe it and see it manifest in my life is up to Him. He is the one who renews my mind and transforms me to believe.

During the de-tizzing process, another gentle invitation came “beloved, do you trust me?” This question, as it always does when it comes, hits somewhere deep within me, it hits the fear and I realise that in this place I have walked out from under the finished work of the cross, I have stopped believing that He has done it all and given all. The thing is, it's very difficult to rest without trust! What peace then, my decision to trust Him in this brings, another deep sigh, phew! He has it all covered, completely and utterly sorted. I know this affliction will end because my inheritance is deep, restorative sleep. As I wait though, to experience healing, there are great treasures in this darkness and He will see to it that I find them.

I'm not fighting any more, I'm not fighting sleep if it comes in the day and I'm not fighting wakefulness if it comes in the night. In fact I am getting to LOVE my times of being awake in the small hours when all else sleeps and everything is still. In it, He is knocking the 'fight' out of me and causing a greater trusting dependency on His constant goodness. I am discovering another, deeper place of rest and it is wonderful.

Trust is addictive, rest is addictive, drinking deeply and feasting on what He has done and given is addictive. I cannot live any other way. When I choose His way, joy becomes a constant regardless of circumstances. I lose myself in Him, | trust Him and I let Him completely take over. I get to live in the sweet, soft, melting core of Him where nothing is a big deal, where nothing is scary or overwhelming, and where I get to snuggle day after day in restful, perfect love.

Nicky

Expect the unexpected

I've been thinking about expectations lately because I've had many come to nought this year, in fact when I come to think of it this isn't actually a recent phenomena but has been occurring my whole life!

I realise that life is full of them and they happen every day. I expect to go to work tomorrow, I expect to eat breakfast, meet a friend – normal, every day expectations that carry on their merry dance through our lives without us even noticing. But then there are the biggies , the ones that carry weight and that we pin our hopes on. The ones where we expect life to turn out a certain way and follow the neat path that we have carefully crafted in our mind. The ones we create that keep life safe, secure and happy. For me, these 'biggies' often grow out of brokenness and are rooted in fear, a lack of trust in Papa. In the past they have led me into disappointment, pain and frustration with Jesus. I now realise that they were never His plans in the first place yet I was quick to blame Him when they weren't met!

So many times over the past 18 months I expected to sell our house, to leave the country and visit new pastures. Each time my expectations have been dashed there has been a little more transformation in my heart. Each time I have yielded a little more to His ways rather than my own. I am learning to trust that His ways are perfect and mine are not even when I don't fully understand what He's up to. I am learning to let go of expectations in the little things and the big things and simply to trust.

This place is the life I'm seeking. It isn't about “whatever will be will be”,rather a relentless refusal to do things my way. It is the ability to flow with the Holy Spirit with my hand in His. To give Him all the space He wants to do with my life what He will and lead me where He knows is best in the day to day and in the biggies. It takes time. I am so good at creating my own expectations that to dismantle what is second nature takes dedication. It comes back to letting go, it comes back to trust, it comes back to love – His passionate, perfect, always good love to me. It feels as if this is big and and that if I remain willing and yielded there is something amazing out the other side. I'm learning that there is such freedom and joy in expecting the unexpected and letting Him take control. It always turns out better than any of my best plans and has a way of working out perfectly!

Nicky

xx

On the glory train to nowhere

Well here's our blog empty and waiting for news. I feel compelled to write this week so here goes. I'm not eloquent or gifted with words so feel free to read these ramblings or give up!

We were both hoping to pen our first blog entries from somewhere hot and beautiful but here I sit in our temporary home with Mike's mum and dad in Budleigh Salterton - blanket, hot water bottle, cold! Yet a lightness and joy of heart makes up for the coldness of body.

This particular part of our journey has been long, requiring much perseverance through trying circumstances. A house on the market for 18 months, our 4th buyer promising a quick sale that was meant to complete 2 weeks ago, but which has now been delayed by as much as 10 more weeks. We had felt it safe to investigate our 'round the world' tickets and were dreaming of Sri Lankan skies for Christmas with great friends. A bank account very much more than empty (one reason why we are now in Budleigh with parents!) and expectations dashed again.

So why a lightness and joy of heart?! I sit here so grateful for difficult circumstances that have brought us to this point. This whole process, the disappointment of failed house sales, of lost dreams and expectations have been the road that has led ever deeper into the burning heart of Jesus. With every obstacle and every tear comes a forward motion, yes may-be just a shuffle, an inch at a time, but forwards none the less. Trust, surrender, trust, surrender, trust, surrender, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. A stripping of my thoughts and ways, give way to His. It would not have looked like this had I been in control. It would have been neat and ordered with some great testimony of victory and miraculous intervention. It would have been fireworks and trumpets and if I'm honest, just a little bit of glory for me. Yet I cannot put into words how wonderfully freeing this process is. How much lighter I feel giving up my rights and my wants to yield to the One who always knows what's best for me and loves me unceasingly.

I find I don't grasp as I used to to things that don't matter. I worry less, I don't need to be in control as much. I want to live free, free to be blown by the wind of the Spirit with the ability to bend and move like clay in the potters hands. I am intoxicated with His love for me like never before and I delight in drinking heavily on the new wine that He pours out. He is transforming me into a new wine skin - it doesn't look like I thought it would. It doesn't look particularly victorious and has no neat edges. It doesn't read like a fairy tale but the happy ending is Him, purely, simply, beautifully Him. He is all I need, all I long for, all that satisfies. As I have let go of me, there has been more room for Him. I am becoming addicted to 'letting go', letting go of all that is not at His instigation, all that is not of Him. In letting go I can fly unhindered, unencumbered and feel the exilhiration of free fall - woooosh!

So we are on the train to nowhere - the 'now' and the 'here'. Living each day with a hunger for His presence and breathing in as deeply as possible all that comes our way. Only Papa knows where we are headed and when we will get there - and right now that's enough. I want to enjoy the ride, enjoy the glory of Him and simply live in the peace that comes from knowing He has it all worked out.

Nicky xxx