This epic life

Its been almost three years now since we sold up and set off on our travels to North America. Little did we know back then, where the adventure would lead us and how much it would cost to leave the sanctuary of a familiar life in Exmouth. So much has changed in those three years, more than we could have ever thought possible. Our lives have been transformed, we have been given promises - many yet to be fulfilled - made friends, left friends, encountered Papa God in astonishing ways, been in lack, been provided for, been loved, been tested, been in awe. 

One short blog is far too inadequate to describe the journey, words don't form easily to bring structure to what has been a time spent in hiddenness, a time nestled in Papa's heart, a time where faith has been forged within challenging circumstances.

Wales - left to right Moriah Chapel birthplace of the 1905 Welsh revival; Brecon Beacons; Caerphilly Castle.

On our return from America last year - where we had hoped to move - we had a sojourn with some wonderful people in Wales then found ourselves coming full circle by returning to Exmouth. It has been a very strange return as we are not the people who left and the community we were part of is no longer our home. We live in a tiny cottage where we live, cook, eat and sleep in the same space! It has been a much appreciated sanctuary and we've enjoyed the peace we have found there.

The Garth covered in snow near our home in South Wales.

Mike launched spottedsheep.com selling greeting cards carrying his designs and those of other artists from around the world and has also latterly returned to writing. Nicky loves working as a home help to 96 year old Monty who she visits every day. Opportunities to pray with her and encourage someone who is frightened of dying has been an incredible privilege. She has also developed her creative gifts in painting and textiles, which she loves and is longing to get back to playing piano again!

A great year for Beth and her fiance Josh - they both graduated and got engaged. Wedding in 2014!

We continue to live in the in-between where, as many of us do, we have promises that we long to see fulfilled. We follow in the footsteps of Abraham and Sarah who waited for what seemed like too long for the birth of their promised son. We feel like Joseph as he waited in prison to be commissioned by the King. We find ourselves alongside Jesus as he was lead into the wilderness. There are days when we don't understand the journey or the length of time we are kept waiting but we would choose no other path than this, as we know He is faithful to bring about what He has promised. We are continually finding treasure in this darkness, new aspects of Papa's heart, new life and more capacity to love. We have discovered that no matter how dark things seem, Papa always hides treasure within the darkness which bring glory, light and hope. 

We had a wonderful weekend in Cornwall.

We have pondered recently on how many epic stories we read about in blogs, in books and on Facebook. We have all of us become experts at celebrating what we consider to be the 'epic' lives of people, their epic triumphs, journeys or ministries. We have come to realise that every life is epic, every life is extraordinary, however ordinary they may appear from the outside. Our own lives have appeared, over the past year, to be very ordinary but we have heard Papa whisper over and over that we are extraordinary and this last year has been as much of a glorious adventure as when we were on the road. It's the same for us all. With Jesus life is a wonderful adventure full of opportunity to love and be loved, to cry, to laugh, to come alongside, to encourage, to be found faithful because He is faithful and to daily surrender to His ways rather than insist our own.

We enjoyed many walks on the South West Coast Path.

We have no idea what this next year holds, apart from the wedding of Mikes beautiful daughter Beth to Josh in April (very excited!). We don't know how long Papa will keep us in this place of waiting, but we do know that He is as faithful as the sun-rise every morning and that our prison season will shift, that we will hold our Isaac and that we will leave this beautiful wilderness full of power as Jesus did. We are so thankful too for the love of family and friends He has placed around us, for His constant provision, for His promises and for each other. Life truly is an epic adventure, ours and yours, may we have the courage to see it and live it with our hearts set on the One who makes all things possible.

Living with a heavenly perspective

As believers we can often assume that when things 'fall into place' or when our circumstances line up, God must be in it, that we are in His will at that moment. Firstly, by definition, this means that when things are difficult or don’t go the way we want them to, whether consciously or not, we are believing that God isn’t in it. Secondly, in making such an assumption we can miss the purposes of Heaven in that situation.

Consider Joshua as he was about to attack Jericho and he met the Lord: "Joshua went up to him and asked, “Are you for us or for our enemies?” “Neither,” he replied, “but as commander of the army of the Lord I have now come.” ( Joshua 5:13:14) Joshua made the assumption that the heavenly being he met was either for him or he was for the opposition. I’m sure Joshua must have been surprised when the man replied “Neither.”

Heaven has a perspective that sometimes we just don't see or even consider. Like Joshua, we can assume that God is for us and He comes to fulfill our plans, when the Lord has something else in mind - seeing Heaven come to Earth. We can become consumed with our circumstances and with seeking the results that we want, like Joshua believing that God will deliver those results for us.

Whilst is true that God is for us, He also tells us that He 'works all things together for good for those who love Him' and that 'in all these things we are more than conquerors'. The 'things' spoken about in these lines from Romans 8 can be translated as ‘absolutely everything’. In absolutely every circumstance, absolutely every situation that we find ourselves, God is working for good.

“We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their (our) labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.” Romans 8:28 AMP.

Our friend Max.

If we love God we can be assured that absolutely every circumstance is working for our good. It might not look like we had planned, it might not look like the desire in our hearts, it may even look disastrous in a natural sense, but in loving Him we can be confident that He is using those circumstances for good.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 NIV.

And so, having pursued the desires of our hearts in coming to America, desires for community, desires to share our lives with those we love and who love God, desires to make a home in this amazing nation, we find ourselves returning to the UK with none of those desires having been met. Does that mean God is not for us? By no means! Does that mean that He doesn’t want to give us the desires of our hearts? Not at all! He loves us beyond measure and His heart for us is only good, His desire that His goodness be displayed for His glory in our lives.

When David prays in Psalm 20:4 “May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.” It’s not a promise, it’s a request and David goes on in verse 7 to say “ Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” That’s the key - trusting Him when our plans don’t succeed, trusting Him when He doesn’t give us the desires of our heart, trusting Him when it hurts enough to bring us to tears. Trusting that even in the failure, the disappointment and the pain, He loves us and He is working for good.

If we can learn to embrace the pain, to trust in God’s love for us, to recognise His goodness toward us, to surrender to His will, and like James to ‘consider it pure joy’ whatever our circumstances look like, not only will we receive the ultimate reward (the crown of life!), but the journey itself becomes our reward.

Battered and bruised as we feel, physically and emotionally exhausted as we are by the journey, and though it has literally cost us everything, we can unequivocally say that we trust in Him.

The last nine months have been very painful, we have been in a fiery furnace and, even when we thought it couldn't get any hotter, the angel in charge of the furnace, turned up the heat! Papa has stripped, burnt, humbled, consumed. He has emphatically answered our prayers of 'not my will, but yours be done'. It has happened in the secret place, in the darkness, within the mundane of four walls. This hasn't been a holiday that's for sure!

We head back to the UK as weary, ragamuffin pilgrims, feeling the effects of the furnace, yet we leave feeling peace, faith and hope, for He is incredibly good and His wisdom is perfect, even when we don't understand. There is such a relief, such a peace that invades at the place of surrender, at the place of having given up our rights, of choosing 'His will' above our own. There is a sweetness in having been broken by His fiery hand that is beyond explanation. As Graham Cooke puts it, ‘We kiss the hand that hurts, because it is true and perfect in love.'

We don't know what or where is next, but we know Papa has it covered, utterly, completely, wholly covered. He has not once abandoned us, not once turned away and He never will. He always makes a way, He always comes through for us. So we return in expectant hope, knowing that He who is faithful loves us beyond comprehension and has good and perfect plans for us.

Mike & Nicky
xxx

The next chapter

Those of you who have been following us on this blog or on Facebook will know that we have been travelling the globe for the past 18 months, pursuing the Holy Spirit and following our favour throughout North America and in Europe. Our purpose and delight has been the pursuit of God’s heart, as we have willingly laid down our lives, and everything in them, for more of Him.

During this exciting and challenging time we have seen the most incredible sights, had the most memorable experiences, met the most wonderful people and made the most amazing new friends, as well as catching up with many old ones. We have heard and experienced the glorious and radically good news of the Gospel from coast to coast in the USA and in Europe.

Randy and Bob from The Box

We have been blessed beyond anything we could have thought or even imagined, and the Lord continues to work with such grace and loving kindness in our lives as He transforms our minds and hearts. He has changed us in so many ways, but we would be hard pressed to explain exactly how. We wouldn’t change a single step of this pilgrim’s journey, for many have brought us much joy, though too there have been many testing times, but they have all brought us to this moment.

For several weeks now, though, we have both been feeling the need for community, to belong somewhere and to enjoy the rhythms of a life lived in love for those we share it with. We long for a more settled existence in which we can share our lives and our hearts with people who share our passion for Jesus, and more practically, in which we can hang our clothes in a wardrobe rather than living out of our well worn suitcases.

Us with the wonderful Young family at The Box in 2011

It’s in the context of this heartfelt desire that we have decided to make our home with the wonderful folk of The Alabaster Box in East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania, USA. When we left for North America in 2011 we didn’t even know this amazing part of the body of Christ existed, let alone know the people who comprise it! However in a few short months God has knitted our hearts together in the most extraordinary way, and we were delighted to learn that they unequivocally shared our own desire to be with them too.

And so the flights are booked, though the visa that will ensure our long term stay in the States has yet to be secured, and to say that we are excited and expectant of great things would be an understatement of huge proportions! We would like to thank you all so much for your support, your patience and your understanding, even when you may not yourselves have understood the choices we’ve made! We ask that you continue to hold us before the Lord in prayer as we apply for our visa and as we build relationships and find our place within our new community.

Open mic night at The Box

We would also like to give you the opportunity to support us financially in this next chapter of our lives. Though The Alabaster Box is small in number, the generosity of the people there has been, and continues to be incredibly humbling. However, we don’t wish to be a burden to them, rather to bless them financially, as well as in other ways. To this end, we will be pursuing our own means of support through several business ideas, however in the meantime if you would like to give, please use the Paypal link on this page to do so. We would love for you to come and visit us in our new home too - it’s only 1 1/2 hours from New York city and you can be assured of the warmest welcome.

In this next chapter the journey continues, it just looks a little different...

In the darkness

Well, this journey is nothing if not exciting! As many of you will know, before Christmas we had been planning to go to Sri Lanka then on to New Zealand. You may also know that this didn’t happen! We didn’t get the provision we needed to make the trip and so we found ourselves traveling back to Devon to spend Christmas near to family and friends. It wasn’t that we ever had clear direction or a direct promise from God for this particular trip, however we do know that our travels are not over, that we have more connections to make and things to learn on our journey.

And so we stepped out, following our heart's desire to be with friends in Sri Lanka, believing that the door would open, but also totally prepared for God to direct our path and change the direction in which we were setting out. We also wanted to speak, think and act from a place of faith regarding this desire, so we traveled to London without money for flights but believing that, if Sri Lanka was where God wanted us, He would get us there even though it looked impossible. Ultimately the door remained closed, and we don’t profess to understand why, nor do we expect others to understand, but we do know He has used the journey to forge faith and trust in us yet again!

One thing this experience has taught us is that it’s easy to think that when circumstances line up and things seem to fall into place, God must be in it. Equally, it can be tempting to think that when things don’t go the way we expect or plan, when things look messy, that God is not in it. To us, and to many people looking on, these last few weeks have seemed very messy, but we believe that God has been in it and He continues to use our outward circumstances to transform us within.

 As the door closed to Sri Lanka, another door opened to Germany - so we are going to walk through it! Last April we connected with some lovely people at a great church in Duisburg, near Dusseldorf, and have kept in touch with them since. They have graciously opened their hearts and their homes to us and we know a warm welcome awaits. However we leave not knowing where this will ultimately lead, or for how long we might be there, but simply holding Papa's hand and trusting Him to make the path clear with each step.

It's been quite a journey since we arrived back in England at the beginning of November. Before we left America we had both had visions of Papa leading us deeper into the darkness, not into a place of fear or danger, but into a place that would require more trust and dependency upon Him. We had words from others too which echoed the visions we had, as Holy Spirit was gently and graciously preparing us for this tough and challenging time.

During this time not only have we continued to feel a deep sense of loss of things past and things we have given up, the cost of following Him, but we also recognise that we have given up belonging. We find ourselves without the security, comfort, acceptance, worth, fellowship and sense of belonging that emerges as lives intersect within the context of a local community. We feel a sense of 'rootlessness' and not fitting. For us right now our community is made up of people dotted all over the globe, not found in one place. It’s an odd feeling and drives us deeper into intimacy with God, to find our place of belonging, our home in Him above all else.

As we enter this new year we remain largely in the dark, sometimes to our own frustration and the perplexity of many of those looking in. We don't know why it’s like this, but we have given up any right to understanding, instead choosing to trust and believe. We abide in the ‘nowhere’ (now and here) of the moment, a place of believing without seeing, of loss without gain, of stepping out without seeing the road stretched out ahead of us. It looks to the world like foolishness, and somedays it can feel like foolishness to us too, but we cannot turn back and nor would we want to.

We trust this pilgrims way and the One we follow, the One who forges the path ahead of us. We are incredibly grateful for those we meet along the way, and to those who journey with us in friendship, support, encouragement and love. We rest in confident expectation of His kindness and goodness as we learn to embrace all things, knowing that He is working in them for good and that He carries us close to His heart. Most of all we are grateful that we are loved by Him and that all our tomorrows are written in Papa's book.

Thank you to those of you who remember us in your prayers, our desire is that you would echo Paul’s words in Colossians 1:9-12 in your own prayers for us, as this is also our prayer for you:

“For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.”

Happy New Year to you all. May you know His love and presence wherever the year takes you and may it be a wild and glorious adventure!

Mike & Nicky
xxx

Step by step

I'm not enjoying this part of the journey. With Christmas around the corner, I want to be in the home I don't have, decorating a tree with the children I don't have, listening to Christmas carols and getting excited about the season. I want to have been able to do Christmas shopping and wrap gifts for friends and family. I miss being part of a community. Instead we leave for London tomorrow, stepping out in faith believing it's what Holy Spirit is leading us to do. We hope 'against all human odds' for tickets to take us to Sri Lanka in time for Christmas, but only He knows where this step will lead us. My heart aches and I feel the cost of the narrow path again.

Yet, I always come back to love, hanging upon a tree, and to the fact that I am a new creation, that I have been given a new life and that I am loved beyond all measure. In His incredible love and divine wisdom, this is the best path for me, right now, today, and that here on this path there is treasure in the darkness. This part of the journey, even the pain, is transforming me and preparing me for what is ahead. I need to yield to this, to be on this step because this step leads to the next one and is vital. I trust my Beloved Jesus, I know Him to be wholly good and overflowing with loving kindness towards me, so I know that this momentary affliction will pass, will do it's work and the darkness will turn to light again.

“We seldom get to choose our circumstances, but we always get to choose our responses. Men and women of God understand that nothing is coincidental, they take advantage of everything in order to discover God and find themselves.”

Graham Cooke

I am also comforted in remembering that life on earth is just a whisper of time compared to an eternity of living every day in heaven, face to face with Him. I only have one opportunity here on earth to choose Him, to yield even when it hurts and to say yes. I know that all loss will be great gain whether in this world or in Heaven. I also know that I am storing up a weight of glory in these circumstances for eternity.
 

"For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison." 

2 Corinthians 4:17 NASB

If your path is dark and stormy, take heart that 'this too shall pass', that He is with you in it and using every circumstance to produce a greater weight of glory for you. He is already leading you to the next step, which will be different to this one. He already has victory in mind. He keeps you close to his heart and He knows and sees the end from the beginning. He sees the full picture and knows that it is good. Remember His kindness, be confident in His love, keep going and expect good things. 

"I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. That Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." 

Ephesians 3:17-20. NLT