In the darkness

Well, this journey is nothing if not exciting! As many of you will know, before Christmas we had been planning to go to Sri Lanka then on to New Zealand. You may also know that this didn’t happen! We didn’t get the provision we needed to make the trip and so we found ourselves traveling back to Devon to spend Christmas near to family and friends. It wasn’t that we ever had clear direction or a direct promise from God for this particular trip, however we do know that our travels are not over, that we have more connections to make and things to learn on our journey.

And so we stepped out, following our heart's desire to be with friends in Sri Lanka, believing that the door would open, but also totally prepared for God to direct our path and change the direction in which we were setting out. We also wanted to speak, think and act from a place of faith regarding this desire, so we traveled to London without money for flights but believing that, if Sri Lanka was where God wanted us, He would get us there even though it looked impossible. Ultimately the door remained closed, and we don’t profess to understand why, nor do we expect others to understand, but we do know He has used the journey to forge faith and trust in us yet again!

One thing this experience has taught us is that it’s easy to think that when circumstances line up and things seem to fall into place, God must be in it. Equally, it can be tempting to think that when things don’t go the way we expect or plan, when things look messy, that God is not in it. To us, and to many people looking on, these last few weeks have seemed very messy, but we believe that God has been in it and He continues to use our outward circumstances to transform us within.

 As the door closed to Sri Lanka, another door opened to Germany - so we are going to walk through it! Last April we connected with some lovely people at a great church in Duisburg, near Dusseldorf, and have kept in touch with them since. They have graciously opened their hearts and their homes to us and we know a warm welcome awaits. However we leave not knowing where this will ultimately lead, or for how long we might be there, but simply holding Papa's hand and trusting Him to make the path clear with each step.

It's been quite a journey since we arrived back in England at the beginning of November. Before we left America we had both had visions of Papa leading us deeper into the darkness, not into a place of fear or danger, but into a place that would require more trust and dependency upon Him. We had words from others too which echoed the visions we had, as Holy Spirit was gently and graciously preparing us for this tough and challenging time.

During this time not only have we continued to feel a deep sense of loss of things past and things we have given up, the cost of following Him, but we also recognise that we have given up belonging. We find ourselves without the security, comfort, acceptance, worth, fellowship and sense of belonging that emerges as lives intersect within the context of a local community. We feel a sense of 'rootlessness' and not fitting. For us right now our community is made up of people dotted all over the globe, not found in one place. It’s an odd feeling and drives us deeper into intimacy with God, to find our place of belonging, our home in Him above all else.

As we enter this new year we remain largely in the dark, sometimes to our own frustration and the perplexity of many of those looking in. We don't know why it’s like this, but we have given up any right to understanding, instead choosing to trust and believe. We abide in the ‘nowhere’ (now and here) of the moment, a place of believing without seeing, of loss without gain, of stepping out without seeing the road stretched out ahead of us. It looks to the world like foolishness, and somedays it can feel like foolishness to us too, but we cannot turn back and nor would we want to.

We trust this pilgrims way and the One we follow, the One who forges the path ahead of us. We are incredibly grateful for those we meet along the way, and to those who journey with us in friendship, support, encouragement and love. We rest in confident expectation of His kindness and goodness as we learn to embrace all things, knowing that He is working in them for good and that He carries us close to His heart. Most of all we are grateful that we are loved by Him and that all our tomorrows are written in Papa's book.

Thank you to those of you who remember us in your prayers, our desire is that you would echo Paul’s words in Colossians 1:9-12 in your own prayers for us, as this is also our prayer for you:

“For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.”

Happy New Year to you all. May you know His love and presence wherever the year takes you and may it be a wild and glorious adventure!

Mike & Nicky
xxx