Savouring the moment

It's been a while since either of us wrote here. It seems to me as if life has been a challenge and I feel like my energy has been used in simply getting through the days and weeks with not very much left for inspiration to put words to page.

This 'getting through', this survival mode has been a little bell ringing gently in my mind and as I tune my consciousness into actually listening to the sound, I become more aware of why the bell has been ringing. It has been wanting my attention, it has been a whisper telling me that this surely is not what life should look like, this survival, this getting through each day, head down, lips pursed, making it to bed only to awaken and go though the motions again - I must survive, I must survive. Yet, how many of us live our lives like this, week in, week out, year in, year out. Just getting through with the occasional oasis of relief in the form of a holiday, a movie, time with friends, a bar of Cadburys!

I am realising somewhere deeper in my being that each day is formed from little moments, all joined together and that if I can learn to catch these little moments I go from survival mode to life in fullness. I am beginning to see that each moment is drenched in richness and fullness - the sound of wind in the trees, the sun warming my skin, the sound of rain on the ground, a mouthful of good coffee, a comfy chair, a smile, my favourite tv programme. If only I could truly learn to savour these precious moments, to become thankful for them - the small things, the everyday things that pass me by because I am surviving the big picture. These moments diminish the big picture and they take the heaviness out of having to have it all worked out. As I savour the moment I am able to remember that there is someone bigger than me, someone utterly and totally in control. I remember that I am known incredibly intimately and that He has it covered. I realise that He is flooding my life with promise and goodness in every little moment He sends my way, if only I breathe in and savour.

I was talking with a friend who was telling me about a woman she knows who really does know how to live in the moment. My friend tells a very funny story of when she and her family arrive at this friends house one evening. They walk in and the lady is animated and tells them to listen to the vacuum cleaner, she asks if they can hear the note that the vacuum cleaner is playing and she tells them to harmonise along with the note, so all four of them stand there singing along to the vacuum cleaner laughing their head off! I was so touched by this story let alone the fact that if I need a laugh I just remember it. I love the childlike delight of the moment and the ability to find life and laughter even in the sound of the vacuum cleaner.

I'm not very good at living in the moment yet, I get distracted by the big picture, I get pulled into survival mode, but I do know that if I could truly live the moment life would look so different. So I'm going to keep practicing and I may even find a little song in the vacuum cleaner the next time I use it!

True rest

 

I have suffered with insomnia for many years and come to accept tiredness as the norm. I've pretty much just got on with life, managing things around my lack of sleep. In the past few weeks however, my lack of sleep has taken on a whole new dimension - with night after night of as little as 2 hours sleep. As a result I got myself into a bit of a tiz! Another way to describe a bit of a tiz is fear, anxiety, what if? In desperation I facebooked friends to ask for prayer.

That same morning Papa de-tizzed me! A couple of friends had responded to my request with a gentle reminder of rest. Not simply the physical rest of doing little, but the wonderful, addictive, intoxicating rest that comes through the finished work of the cross. The deep rest that comes from trusting Jesus and all that He has given. Jesus has finished it, completed the work – He has given me everything in fullness.

My inheritance is wildly rich and contains way more than I could ever need or want. I can rest in in the truth that He has already given it, done it all to me and for me. What a relief, what a deep satisfying sigh this brings to my being! The fullness has been given. Even my ability to believe it and see it manifest in my life is up to Him. He is the one who renews my mind and transforms me to believe.

During the de-tizzing process, another gentle invitation came “beloved, do you trust me?” This question, as it always does when it comes, hits somewhere deep within me, it hits the fear and I realise that in this place I have walked out from under the finished work of the cross, I have stopped believing that He has done it all and given all. The thing is, it's very difficult to rest without trust! What peace then, my decision to trust Him in this brings, another deep sigh, phew! He has it all covered, completely and utterly sorted. I know this affliction will end because my inheritance is deep, restorative sleep. As I wait though, to experience healing, there are great treasures in this darkness and He will see to it that I find them.

I'm not fighting any more, I'm not fighting sleep if it comes in the day and I'm not fighting wakefulness if it comes in the night. In fact I am getting to LOVE my times of being awake in the small hours when all else sleeps and everything is still. In it, He is knocking the 'fight' out of me and causing a greater trusting dependency on His constant goodness. I am discovering another, deeper place of rest and it is wonderful.

Trust is addictive, rest is addictive, drinking deeply and feasting on what He has done and given is addictive. I cannot live any other way. When I choose His way, joy becomes a constant regardless of circumstances. I lose myself in Him, | trust Him and I let Him completely take over. I get to live in the sweet, soft, melting core of Him where nothing is a big deal, where nothing is scary or overwhelming, and where I get to snuggle day after day in restful, perfect love.

Nicky